Recent Posts

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

what if...

I started blogging again?

What would happen?

Friday, January 15, 2010

this little piggy...

An article posted this morning on TreeHugger described a new study researchers are using to better understand factors that may help people survive an avalanche. How are they doing this? By burying pigs in the snow to monitor their slow deaths.

Yes, you read that correctly: to. monitor. their. slow. deaths.

According to the article, "the study hopes that by monitoring the buried pigs, researchers will have a better understanding of the role of air pockets in surviving avalanche situations and avoiding brain damage from asphyxiation."

It's my opinion that anyone on a giant snowy mountain for any reason already has brain damage, so really... wouldn't an avalanche just be like natural selection? This is God's* work people... let's leave pigs out if it.

Don't worry, no pigs have perished yet; the study has been postponed due to an outcry from animal rights activists. In order to justify their experiment, researchers claim that the pigs would not suffer because they will first be sedated.

Oh well, I guess it's okay then. I mean, if someone sedates me before burying me under 20 feet of snow to watch me die slowly, suffocating from a lack of oxygen, then... yea. Absolutely no cruelty at all has occurred. Nope. None.

And yes, I think innocent pigs lives are just as important as the lives of humans. You don't see those little guys strapping on piggy skis and riding down these avalanche-prone mountains do you? No. Which probably makes them smarter than humans. Or at least points to their superior survival instincts.But yeah, we should totally kill some just like, to see what happens. Fuckers.

*I don't know whether I really believe in (a) God. But I do believe in pigs and not burying them alive.

{First photo. Second. Third. }

Thursday, January 14, 2010


That's me. On the right. With the belly shirt buttoned up to my chin. And the short sleeves down to my elbows. And the two swatches. Do I need to mention the glasses? Didn't think so.

Eat your heart out, world.

Moody. Who me?

Dear New Birth Control Pill,

While I appreciate your efforts to inhibit my ability to create and incubate human beings inside my body, I'm not too fond of the emotional outbursts brought forth by your use.

Or the random bleeding. I could live without that, too.

I'm weepy and tired and anxty and irritable (read: Bitchy Von RageMachine) and I don't appreciate it. Or maybe that's just my personality. Hard to say.

Either way, please stop wreaking havoc on my hormones. Although I suppose a screaming, helpless infant with no regard for my optimal amount of beauty rest would be worse. In that case, I thank you.


PS - I just looked up your side affects. Mood swings and depression, eh? Just what I was after. 

Wednesday, January 13, 2010


Today? Blows. So far anyway. It started off fine... everything was going normally. Until I got to work and realized that I left half of my lunch at home in my freezer. D'oh. Annoying. But whatever, I can stop being a lazy ass-face and walk home and get it. Then I noticed that my computer was broken. The monitor was all black and had big white text scrawled across it telling me that the blahdeblah couldn't doopdedoo and I was all 'what the fuck?' and called my tech department who arrived and swiftly took my 200 year old computer away.

Umm... hey, I like, need that?

"If you want to borrow a laptop, follow me down to my office," the young co-op told me as he was walking out the door.

Uh, okay. I mean otherwise I'll be sitting at my desk picking at my nails all day. Without a computer, I have no job. So I'm all set up now, except a laptop is a pain in the ass to work on considering  my computer had two screens and now I'm down to this one teensy tiny baby screen and shitty keyboard and wahhhhhhhhhhh life sucks.

That's all I got. Really, that's it. Aren't you glad I started blogging again?

Yeah, me too.

Impulse Purchase

This. From Here. Meow.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Resolutions (I probably won't keep)

It's a new year and I've resolved to write on my blog. Today, at least... my resolutions come and go like the itchyburny sensations I get down there.

That doesn't really happen.


I probably shouldn't joke about things like that now that I have someone who visits me down there. I'd like to keep those visits frequent, so all rash jokes will now come to a halt. Resolution #1. Or is it #2? Writing on my blog was #1. Jeesh I'm already screwing this up. Resolution #3 - stop being such a failure at life.

I think 2010 is going to be a great year. I say that without a trace of sarcasm or bah humbuggery. I'm sublimely optimistic that the year 2 thousand and 10 will be stellar - a year of new beginnings, fresh starts, love... you know, all that hand-holdy hokey-pokey. How do I know? There have been signs.

(Sign sign everywhere a sign blocking out the scenery breaking my mind...)

Sign (the first)
There's an other. A significant one. The best kind, if you ask me. One who lives far but keeps near to the part that matters (the heart part, if you must know). There will be talkingtextingemailingchatting and hopefully lots of visiting from now until then, when (when?) we'll maybe? possibly? hopefully? end up in the same place at the same time (fingers and toes crossed - eyes, too). The future is uncertain but the now part... it's a sweet part.

Sign (the second)
I've managed to lose weight. Weight for me has always been an indicator of my mental state (with the exception of college when it was simply an indicator of the many beers and midnight hot dogs I consumed willy nilly.) It was this past June when I decided that enough was enough. I weighed in at an all-time high; I couldn't stand myself. Fortunately, for one reason or another the cloud lifted and I buckled down - committed to losing lbs by eating well and exercising (!). And it seems to have worked... I've lost a bunch since then (35lbs, to be exact) and plan to continue until I reach the goal I set for myself. Although the shrinking does feel good, the best result is feeling better mentally. But don't worry - I'll always be a little mental. It's my thing.

So, all that said I have high hopes for this year. It's gonna be a good one.

{Please excuse the suckiness of the writing in this post, I'm rusty. This is my first attempt at de-rustifying. Like, cuttin' off the natty dreads of time that has passed since I've last written. Stamping out my spliff of wordlessness...oh, brother. I'm going to quit while I'm... behind.}

[Artwork by Coulson McLeod. I learned about him through Karey of Mackin Ink. His stuff makes my heart hurt.]

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Oh Look!

It's been over a month since I've blogged. I'm such a liar.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

I'm Not Usually An Avid Sports Fan (Unless That Sport Involves Ryan Howard)

Get ready New York. We can't wait to beat your asses.

{Image via Sports Illustrated via here.}

Citizen's Arrest

If I ever have kids (or a spare bedroom, for that matter), I think maybe I'll hire Antoinette J. Citizen to decorate it. How fun does this look?

Bloo de doo do do doop DOOP Do do do dooo do do do do do do00.

(That was the Super Mario Brothers theme song btw. DUH.)

{Via ffffound}